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Yo mama's so dirty, plants grow off her ass.
Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?

Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.

Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.

Yo Mama is so fat, she leaves stretchmarks in the bath tub

Do you know why New Yorkers are always so depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

Yo' mama so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!

Your mama is so dumb when she was pulled over for drunk driving and they asked her to walked the line she said, ''Which one?''

I'd like to see things from your perspective, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

Yo' mama so fat, when she needs to wipe her butt, she sends out a search party!

Yo Mama's armpits are so hairy, she looks like she got Don King in a headlock!

You so ugly, last time you got ass was when your toilet paper broke!


Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box)

Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Unemployed

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_)The National Enquirer (_)The Globe (_)TV Guide (_)Soap Opera Digest

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Not Applicable Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don't know

You're so stupid that when police tell you you broke the speed limit, you offer to fix it.

Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings

                                                       Why can't a blonde dial 911                                                       She can't find the eleven.

You know you're a redneck if you do all of your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

Guns don't kill people. Dumb-ass, shit-for-brains, rednecks with no jobs kill people.

You might be a redneck if you think wind sprints means running from a fart.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says ''Just Say No To Crack'' and it reminds you to pull up your pants!

You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women.




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