What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual?
The way they say ahhhh-men.
You're so stupid, you thought a quarterback was a refund
You know your a redneck if you're playing soccer and you say ''I hit my two best balls today... with
If I needed any shit from you I'd squeeze your head.
If a light sleeper can't sleep with a light on, can a hard sleeper sleep with a hard on?
Did you hear about the
guy who drove his Ford Chevy truck into the lake? it
sank....like a rock
You know you're ghetto, if you name your kids after cars you can't afford!
You're so poor, you have a big hole in the wall and call it central air.
I hate to brag, but if I was sitting on the toilet, and got the hiccups, I'd siphon the bowl dry!
You might be a redneck if you have ever vacationed in a highway rest area.
You know you married a redneck when she fills out her family reunion name tag, Four for a Dollar.
I'm gonna tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. Oops, my bad -- someone already told you.
You're so stupid, your mother told you to go buy a color television and you asked, What color?
If my pants aren't at my ankles, don't open your mouth!
You could be a redneck if you were just married and you have nothing but empty Skoal cans strung from
your bumper as you leave the church.
You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers."
You are so fat, I put a quarter up your butt and you spat out a Little Debbie cake.
The bakery called -- they want their rolls back!
Sex is like a card game - if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand!
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.
Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
A guy walks into a bar, and sustains a mild concussion.
You might be a redneck if you lit a match in your bathroom it blew your house off its wheels!
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include ''Turn off the paved road...''
You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!